Living with the XYs

A few days ago my good friend and colleague Christina posted on facebook a photo of a bookshelf full of white numbered books, from 1 to 22 and two more, X and Y that she took at Cambridge University. THIS photo my friends is a photo of the books that contain the written version of the human code!!!! If that is not the coolest thing you have ever heard of you have to have your head examined. Should I repeat myself? On that shelf sits the HUMAN CODE!!!! in other words THE INSTRUCTIONS THAT MAKE US HUMAN!

EVERY instruction for the human body and human life, from what color eyes and skin you are going to have, to how tall or fat you have the potential to be, how you will make blood, when and how hard and fast your heart will pump, how and how many times your lungs will breathe, how fast your hair and nails will grow, how you will process food ....... need I go on? MOST importanly it has the code for how your neurons will be connected so that you can walk, talk, learn. IT IS ALL THERE. IT IS ALL THERE!!!! ALL OF IT!!! Have I convinced you that this is THE coolest or am I just sounding like a geek? I have always thought that our one almost unique human purpose in life is to create new knowledge. Well, THERE IT IS! One of the most AWESOME achievements EVER. Okay, okay, enough with the nerdiness.

Anyhow, right away the comments started on her photo: "Really? We really need two books for the Y chromosome? I thought one page would have been enough". To which Christina responded: "I suspect an XY compiled it, the font is probably larger in the Y - it is all about perception." Christina is very funny you should know. To these two I responded: "They need a lot of code for the I-can't-find-it gene because it is a very complicated molecular process, it requires code for 1) perusing casually for item, 2) not finding, 3) neuronal lack of problem solving and 4) language to convince XX to look and find the item."

I know all about the "I-can't-find-it-gene" you see because I live with the XYs. I gave half of my DNA to two of them. I provided my sturdy X and Dad came along with his Y. A good Y I will say but still a very typical Y. Both of them are great and very very bright but for some unfanthomable reason cannot find the 2 gallon carton of milk in the fridge. I keep stressing a two second look WITHOUT moving other items in the fridge will not do but it goes unheard, damn the genetic code!

The same goes for the "Really?-that-smells?-gene". I am also familiar with that one. It starts like this, find shirt on floor from yesterday's field hockey practice and put it on regardless of it's odor, walk by the XX (in this case me - the mother), watch her wretch from the smell and ask "Really? It smells?" the genetic code for that one is quite short. It requires one thing and one thing only: ANOSMIA, for those of you unfamiliar with the word anosmia is a lack of functioning olfaction, or in other words, an inability to perceive odors. I am sure that the code for that is not necessarily always on the Y chromosme but in this house it seems to be a Y-linked trait. Together with the "I-do-not-have-an-opinion-as-to-what-shoes-you-should-wear-with-that-dress" gene.

Fortunately in this house, the resident Y chromosomes also came with a few good genes including the "I-made-sure-there-was-some-OJ-left-for-your-breakfast-tomorrow" gene, the "Tell-me-all-about-your-day" gene and my personal favourite the "Can-I-do-anything-to-help?" gene. You should know however, that this last one required LOTS of epigenetic regulation in the shape of nagging and it took a while to demethylate but I am pretty sure I've got it working.