You should know I was very self concious and nervous about going so I texted Lauren a few times asking: "You have seen what I can do at the gym. Am I going to look like an idiot in your class?" While Lauren kindly reassured me that all would be fine. I arrive for a treadmill run in advance - BIG mistake should have saved my energy for the actual class. Slowly people trickle in and they are all at least a decade younger than me. Already this does not bode well and I am thinking maybe I'll just keep running, forget the class.
Lauren, the Amazonian blonde beauty/trainer sets up a torturous circuit of 10 -13 stations. Anything from lifting an enormous bar, to the stair machine, to rope jumping or planking, or pulley arm work etc... Every one of these stations last 1 minute and then you transition to the next, so it is really like an exercise conveyor belt with very little rest in between.
The fist few minutes are the "warm up", let me tell you this in no gentle warm up it is a fast paced squatting thigh burning introduction of what is to come. Five minutes after this warm up she requests that we chose our first station and I look around for one that will allow me to either sit down (the bike) or lie down (the crunches on the mat), thankfully all of the other 20 to 30 somethings are really fit keeners who chose the hard stations so the easy ones are left for me.
I start with the bike. To my distress this biking has to be done at a level 25 not my regular 12 so I look around to avoid making eye contact with Lauren and lower the resistance thinking ........... noooo problem I can do this. Next is the big huge bar lift. Now, there are an assortment of weights strategically placed next to the bar that one is encouraged to ADD to the already very heavy bar to accommodate all fitness needs. I decide that the bar alone is heavy enough. Next, is the stairclimber. I do this all the time!! This is going to be a breeze - however this climbing is a SPRINT on the STAIRCLIMBER ie. more like super fast jogging up the stairs. I go as fast as I can all the time thinking WHY? WHY? am I doing this?
On to the arm work which should be a lot easier right? NO! This arm work requires that you squat at a 90 degree angle while leaning on the wall and lifting the 25 lb ball over your head first and then in front of you repeatedly for a whole minute! Burning biceps but I finish while all the time trying to convince myself that this will lead to Jennifer Aniston-like toned arms.
On to the jump rope, an activity I have avoided since age 12 due to the top heaviness mentioned in previous blogs. I jump like a girl. ie. I take that extra little jump in between the big over the rope jump so I look like an idiot but hey, I'm killing some calories. This goes on and on with all kinds of challenges. After one circuit she requests that we get on the machines for two minutes of cardio, CARDIO??!! Isn't that what we were doing? You mean to all others this is NOT cardio? Yikes!
Then we go back for the second circuit and I feel and do much better. At the end when I am ready to plop of the floor for some rest she asks us to get on the floor mats for the "Jane Fonda" leg workout. Not exactly a leg workout and more like an insanely painful butt workout but again I use positive thinking: "THIS one will lead to me getting a J. Lo type ass".
The next day I had a hard time getting in and out of the car, going up the stairs, sitting down, writing, feeding myself, even brushing my hair and my teeth. I have two more days to decide if I should go again and I am doing this by convincing myself that my commitment will eventually lead to me looking like Halle Berry did when she walked out of the ocean in that orange belted bikini in that James Bond movie. Hey, whatever works right?
Haha!! I love it Elena. I can't wait until your next butt kicking (class) :)
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