49

I am 49 today. I can feel my telomeres shortening and my Xs dropping. Here we go, the yearly review:  

Almost all of my friends are nerdy. The company of teenagers is both inspiring and infuriating, MOST of the time it is inspiring. I hang around with an exceptional group of strong women. Before judging, ask. Before judging, offer help. To quote Maya Angelou: "When someone shows you who they are ..... believe them!" DO NOT let bad things happens TWICE - that is just DUMB! Forgive yourself if you let a bad thing happen twice. Even really ordinary things can be made to feel extraordinary. Lululemon was a shitty investment. Sometimes in life you get to walk just a little of the way together with someone you care for, let that be enough. Not everyone that you care for will appreciate you caring. Restorative yoga IS restorative. Experiencing loss, even when expected is profoundly painful. Turtles dwell in water, tortoises on land. Foot injuries SUUCCKK! The only way to heal from a foot injury is to STOP running. Listen to your doctor. If you can't run - spin. Not all great adventures make for great love stories.  Every once in while you've just got to pull the car over in order to hold your heart and catch your breath. KINDNESS trumps ALL. Kids speak truths, my behind does not fit on a pediatric chair. Stretchy leggings are oddly comforting. VERY few people make evidence based decision, most people act on beliefs. Educating antivaxers is the bane of my existence. According to published literature from NIH at my current age, I am unlikely to contribute to science in any meaningful way. Before ordering exome sequencing  - USE YOUR BRAIN, FIND A PATTERN! I want to be in Grade 8 again and have cool homework. #1 child turned out to be a looker, #2 also seems to be going in that direction, this of course is not terribly important but a revelation of the power of half of my DNA ;) they also turned out to be kind so that's a win-win. Not everybody has the capacity for self-reflection. The best definition of myself that I have ever read was found in a book about menopause called The Madwoman in the Volvo: "Until now, not being able to feel things has never been one of my copious personal flaws. I am for better or for worse a person driven by passions large and small." An apology has three parts: 1) Say I'm sorry 2) Admit what you did and say "I was wrong" AND 3) ASK: WHAT can I do to repair this? WHAT can I do to make this better? It seems most people (including me sometimes) often neglect the third part. There is nothing that is more annoying than lack of clarity. Lack of clarity happens, suck it up! According to Benjamin, I have already had crabbiness and I need to see other people, the kid seems to be a little overwhelmed with maternal love. ALWAYS find time for a morning hug. As in all previous years: ALWAYS find time to tell the ones you love that you do and the ones you miss that you miss them. At this age you begin to lose people, some to life, some to geography, some to circumstances - the difficult thing is that at this age that loss may be permanent. The poignancy of this life is that there is just this ONE life, don't squander love, don't squander time, we are all, slowly, but most assuredly, running out of summers and not always stopping, breathing in and taking the time to notice them. TODAY and EVERY day, as I did last year, I promise myself to take the time to notice. 

Oh, Oh, I ALMOST forgot ........ This year I became THE PROUD recipient of a Government of Canada (aka Kaoru Ohashi) issued Penis Inspector License. 

Happy birthday to me.