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Every year on my birthday I write a long list of things I have learned in the last 365 days of my life.

This year's list starts with: BE CAREFUL ON YOUR BIKE!!!!!!!!!!!! Did I stress that enough? Good, got that one out of the way. 

Second: BE PATIENT!!!! I have limited ability for self patience and I am sorry to say I am not diligently approaching a strategy for solving the problem so most of the time I rant - sorry if I have held you up from meetings, patients, meals and/or general life events due to my incessant whining. 

Third: FRONT CLOSING BRAS ROCK!! who was that genius?? THANK YOU genius! 

On to more; COMMUNITY ROCKS! you know that "if you build it they will come?" well ... if you ask they will help. I've never had an issue with making an ass of myself so I have asked and they have helped, from "Would you mind helping me with my coat?" to "Would you mind carrying this to my table?" and more so ... THANK YOU!

More; Caring for someone deeply is risk business, make the investment. Ottawa is really far away, geographical distance - ugh, yuck. Let go, but only a little. Call your parents, they miss you. TOUCH. LOVE, talk, show or TEXT love often.

Be kind.  Ask, don't assume. Find someone to hug.  Dance often.  Be thankful and say thank you. Be grateful  and show it. Be mindful and breathe. Find beauty. Once more, LOVE, talk, show or TEXT love often.

Here I go, with any luck once more around the sun. 

Emergency C-section

Last week I posted a blog about a second delivery. If I'm going to confess I have to say that I also had a bit of a birth plan. I had envisioned this delivery at University as a very Zen West Coast Namaste type delivery. 

We would arrive and together, unpack quietly, play good music and decorate his room. Every once in a while we would remember his childhood and other family events and laugh. 

There would be lots of hugs and long lingering thoughtful moments of isn't-it-great-that-we-get-to-spend-this-time-together. You know? Zen. Namaste. Birth plan. I know, I know, ridiculous. 

What I got instead was the equivalent of an emergency C-section!! No Zen. No Namaste. Botched birth plan. Emergency c-section. 

This is how it went; first all the cars delivering children to first-year residence would lineup and end up in front of the building. There was a swarm of students assigned to help. Some had painted their body purple top to bottom and were dressed up. They did the wave as the car pulled up!

Every student and their family was greeted with concert loud music and the wave. Yes, they did the wave. Once the car door opened the crowd started chanting "Drop the kid. Drop the kid. Drop the kid." followed by loud clapping and another chant; this time: "Pop the trunk. Pop the trunk. Pop the trunk." 

Once the trunk was popped stickers were placed on every item and like worker ants the helper students brought everything to the designated room. Three floors up the stairs. It was hot, very very hot, 29°C hot. Up the stairs they would chant, hooter and holler yell and scream "Yay!!!! Welcome to Carleton" 

Once on the hallway they would wait for the student to swipe his or her card key to enter the room while chanting "Swipe the key. Swipe the key. Swipe the key" I have to say it was a little overwhelming. My number one has never been the hoot and holler kind and I kept wondering if they had any students with autism and what they would do with all the stimuli. 

This went on all day. Now imagine eight floors with, I didn't count but at least 20 rooms per floor if not more and EVERY student was greeted in the same manner. Needless to say, it was loud. Not Zen but more like every single crazy University movie you ever saw. 

However, this crazy university movie had its special "modern" moments. First of all every kid picked up their first year "swag" bag and it included condoms. Every child got a bracelet with the question "Got consent?" printed on it. And when the resident assistant introduced himself to us his label identified his "preferred pronouns" he, him, his. His preferred gender very clearly identified. 

I'm back at the hotel now. We didn't have deep touching moments of togetherness. But I did see him take great pride in putting his room together and even ask for my opinion a couple of times. We had a quick lunch. I got a few hugs and I spent some time sitting on his bed NEXT to him before he hurriedly went off to start his frosh events. Enough for now. I'll find time for Zen when I see him next. 

Second delivery

They told me about this, they told me delivery would be hard. They told me about the contractions and the pushing and the epidural but not too many people told me about the second delivery. 

So I'll tell you, when you deliver the same child for the second time you'll be happy and sad and proud and excited and scared but this time you will have no epidural. Not much to numb the pain. Nope, you'll just have to grin and bear it. 

This is the kid you've learned to love, the one who would greet you with a smile through the slats of the crib in the morning. The one who I tricked with a Big Bird puppet so he would laugh and open his mouth so I could feed him. The one who insisted that you feed him while he sat in the laundry basket. The same one who ate only white food for 12 months. 

The child who spread M&Ms all over the house and taught his brother to "look for treasure" and lick them off the floor. The one who lost a stuffed dog "Douglas" while visiting IKEA and would make you call every day for a few weeks to see if he had been found. This child, your whale boy, the kid who knew every fact there is to be known about whales. 

The kid who sat on you lap to read Eric Carle's The Very Quiet Cricket and listened completely silent and still. The kid who sat on the beach with you. The one who asked to hold your hand on the plane. The kid whose hand you held so many times to cross the street. 

The child you encouraged at school, at home, on the bike, on the skim board, at the soccer field. The one who needs to be reminded to eat vegetables. The one whose braces you paid for.  The one who needed your company while he had a haircut.  The one who outsources his hugs. 

The kid whose heart you've had to nurse. The one you taught to drive. The one you tried to teach to dance. The kid who studied hard and wants to become a doctor. The one who wants independence and renewal and wants to find it half a country away from you. The kid who deserves his own place in this his new world. 

Again surrendering to the beauty of time passing, here we are, my second delivery. The first one in Vancouver in 1998, the second one 18 years later at Carleton University in Ottawa. 

Both times, labours of love.

Advice to teenagers: Top 10 reasons your mother is IMPORTANT!

Top 10 reasons why your mother is ..... I was going to say important but since this is aimed at teenagers ... kinda cool?....  not so annoying?

1) They gave your mitochondria - kinda cool and KINDA important.

2) The grew you! (and avoided alcohol, raw fish, unpasteurized juice, excessive caffeine, need I go on?) SUPER important for you to have a good brain so also KINDA cool for you eh?

3) They pushed you out - SUPER cool for you and majorly crucial otherwise you wouldn't be here.

4) They made sure you were nourished and not ONLY out of evolutionary obligation but because they were KINDA invested in your well being. Oh yeah and cause they KINDA loved you by then.

5) They enrolled you in school cause they were already invested in this loving you business so it became a priority for you to use the brain they grew and protected (see #2 above).

6) They celebrated your accomplishments - this one just cause they LOVE you.

7) They helped you through difficult times - another one just cause of LOVE.

8) They make you do activities with them (walks, runs, biking, etc..) because science shows that bonds are neurobiologically based and they are hoping you will attach neurobiology to memories and thus keep them longer.

9) They respect your facebook, twitter, instagram, snapchat restrictions ..... cause THEY LOVE YOU!

10) They continue to HUG and TOUCH you (even after swanning and eye rolling) because ALL science shows this you make you live longer.

I hope you read this my two good eggs - I LOVE YOU!

Sophie's Cosmic Cafe and Method

Last summer I joined an indoor cycling studio, the Method indoor cycling studio in Kitsilano. This hub of energy sits at the corner of Arbutus and 4th Avenue on the second floor of the building. It is a big space with 60 to 65 spin bikes and large windows on both sides.

I always use the second to third bike from the right in the second row of bikes, right by the window. This is a very strategic move on my part. First, all the keeners: ironman, ironwomen and Gran Fondo competitors use the front row so I'm out. Second, the bikes in the center are in front of the mirror, I do not need to be looking at myself while I bike. Third, there is a pair of industrial size fans on either side of the coach who sits in the front facing everyone and while it would be lovely to have my hair waving in the wind in a Sports Illustrated like photoshoot the truth is I'm no Sports Illustrated material.

Now you are thinking WHY is she so careful in setting up the stage? Well you see my bike is near the window and I can look out! This doesn't mean that I am not biking hard but it does mean that I can easily distract myself. So I look out on to the corner of Arbutus and 4th and at this corner sits this well know diner called Sophie's Cosmic Cafe. So for the last 7 months I have been voyeouristically observing what happens on that corner while I bike.

What happens? I'll tell you. People meet and greet each other at that corner usually because they are going to Sophie's. People say hello at that corner and after their meal people say they goodbye at that corner.

I have seen friends embracing each other. I have seen couples saying goodbye with a quick kiss. New (or what I assume to be new) lovers saying goodbye or hello with long lingering kisses. Mothers and fathers squatting to kiss their kids in their strollers. I have seen short hugs and long hugs and even a few bear hugs. I've seen quick I'll-see-you-soon-when-I-get-home embraces. I have also seen one fairly steamy sexy impassioned goodbye. And today I saw a couple who was clearly having a hard time with their goodbye and kept returning to each other over and over again to kiss a few times.

I am constantly harping on the need to stay in touch. Not just in touch but IN TOUCH. All the scientific evidence (even for worms!) says the more you touch the longer you live. I am a big fan of hugs. So clearly this street corner that I watch from above is doing it's job to promote life.

But I have also read that one of the most important things to do in order to live longer is to foster social connections. As I look down on this corner I am constantly reminded of the importance of love, devotion, affection, attraction, attachment, but most of all friendship. In other words I am constantly reminded of - LIFE!

Anti-resolutions

These are my "anti-resolutions" ie. intentions that sometimes cross my mind but I am unlikely to achieve and will actually put no effort into achieving because they are inconsequential. And frankly would suck all the fun out of life ;)

1) Stop posting on facebook - yeah! suuure!

2) Stop taking selfies

3) Stop talking about running

4) Stop the Netflix bingeing

5) Take time to eat lunch any place other than my desk

6) Restrain myself from talking to other people

7) Restrain myself from touching other people. Please do not read any porny undertones here this has to do with my mexican-ness EXCLUSIVELY :)

8) Exercise some self control when it comes to hugging the teenagers

9) Skip dessert every once in a while, or at least avoid the daily 3 o'clock chocolate fix

10) Become a vegetarian

11) Stay away from the sun (in view of cancer risk)

How's that for an INCREDIBLE super new and successful 2016?!?! I have give myself permission to do nothing, to make no changes AT ALL!!! How great am I?

Please feel free to add yours